I. Hot Leadership Tip
The first casualty of war is the truth. - US senator Hiram Johnson
II. Quick Leadership Idea
We may not be at war from a military standpoint these days, but as I watched the news today (oh boy), I wondered why so many of our current challenges (e.g., culture wars, climate change, race relations, immigration policies …) feel like ongoing battles. Could it be that war is a useful metaphor for those who profit from conflict? Is it possible that political pundits and partisan politicians sell us their views by demonizing the other side? If so, what’s a caring soul (that would be you) to do?
As I searched for the underlying cause of these “uncivil wars,” I was surprised to discover that beneath the entrenched positions of those on both sides was this BIG lie: Either/Or Thinking will win the war for our side. Either/Or Thinking is a narrow-minded view of issues that sounds like this:
If you win, I lose.
It's us versus them.
I’m right, you must be wrong.
Appeal to the extreme to join the team.
Cooperation with the other side is treason.
To find out why Either/Or Thinking is so widespread these days, we need only to follow the money. Most political pundits don’t tell us the news, they sell us their views of the news to get higher ratings and boost revenues. Similarly, elected officials seduce us with their approach to gain donations and votes. This is why the left and right are always selling their side as the right side. You can prove this to yourself by tuning into any biased news station (you know the ones). I bet you’ll see the following Either/Or tactics as each side tries to get you to buy their view of an issue:
Use strong language to describe an emotional issue.
Magnify the pain caused by the other side, usually with a guest “expert.”
Sell their half-truths as the whole truth and the means to defeat the enemy.
One strong belief will defeat an army of facts
Either/Or Thinking is the divide and conquer strategy that turns political opinions into tribal warfare. Identity politics becomes the order of the day. Repetition becomes indoctrination. We become what we believe. Instead of conducting healthy debates to arrive at practical solutions, Either/Or Thinking splits our democracy into warring factions.
The management of tension is the essence of growth
The architect of our constitution, James Madison, asserted that “A diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty.” Perhaps President Dwight Eisenhower was shining his light on the road to knowledge when he pointed that “People talk about the middle of the road as though it were unacceptable. Actually, all human problems, excepting morals, come into the gray areas. Things are not all black and white. There have to be compromises. The middle of the road is all of the usable surface. The extremes, right and left, are in the gutters. ”
In my new book, Wisdoms Way To Happiness Today, I recommend that we test-drive the middle road philosophy by becoming an open-minded skeptic (OMS). An OMS is a person who knows that their own beliefs can cause them to overfocus on news, data, and facts that support their narrow view. To overcome this confirmation bias, an OMS consciously solicits perspectives that challenge their beliefs. They stretch. The opposition becomes a resource for Both/And Thinking. The OMS also pursues what is true by seeking objective news (e.g., https://www.allsides.com/media-bias/media-bias-ratings).
I close by pointing out that F Scott Fitzgerald once wrote that “The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.” Don’t buy the lie that Either/Or Thinking is always right. It's not. I encourage you to be an OMS that gives Both/And Thinking a try. How surprised will you be when you see that a Both/And philosophy is best for democracy?
Keep stretching,
Dave
Learn more and buy my new book here.